I have really got to get this off my chest.
A bunch of hateful, sinful feelings that I must confess.
The anger toward two people who have caused me so much stress.
And seem to live in bliss while they make my life a mess.
The first, a girl, who was my friend. How could she devastate me?
Well now I know, She’s not my friend... This bitch must fucking hate me!
It hurts because I loved her so..... her back I would defend.
But I would not have been such a fool if I knew that she'd pretend.
She's lucky she was not around to see me off into the deep end.
When I read her LJ "Tee hee, I'm doing ex with Sprout this weekend"
Now, Sprout was my boyfriend. The reason why I rise.
None of you could imagine how this caught me by surprise.
I never knew that what we shared would come to this demise.
I listened to all his I love yous... not knowing they were lies.
At the time, he and my son, were really all I had.
Not to mention we had just found out I'd soon make him a dad.
I was supposed to be his woman. He was supposed to be my man.
Yet he was acting shady, and wouldn't help me with a plan.
The fact that he neglected me, left me so unsure.
Of course, I had no idea of things yet to occur.
The times I had spent loving him, he had his eye on her.
I cried for days; and for those days my vision was a blur.
I shared a home with both of them, we all had made a deal.
But, in time I was homeless, for they had left me with the bill.
I was left to pay the debt, these shoes I could not fill.
This man I loved, and friend I had. To me its so unreal.
To think, I thought that at one point these two people loved me.
The first one pulled me to the ground, the other fucking shoved me.
How could she stab me in the back? How’d he put her above me?
While I’m the one who’s losing sleep, their lives are fucking lovely.
Neither of them knows what it means to sacrifice.
And, every day they never learn, is a fucked up day in life.
The many days I’ve plotted how I’d make them pay their price
Then, I shove it all inside, deciding to play nice.
After all why should I let this get me so upset?
There’s no point in wishing for things I may never get
At least I‘ve learned the unsuspected still can be a threat.
All that’s left to do is pray to God that I‘ll forget.
Still, I know the day will come when his baby will arrive.
Despite the days I’ve spent in fear that it may not survive.
A big fuck you, to both of you who made it hard to thrive.
How does a baby grow inside a mom who’s not alive???